The Sauna!

The Sauna!

Wednesday we went to the sauna.  Nudity like death is the great equalizer, especially as we age. When people are naked, it’s impossible to hide the imperfections of the aging body and the inevitable our mortality.  We see our shared humanity regardless of age, race, gender or economic status. 

Doris and I went to both the open saunas – you just walk in, sit down and enjoy the heat.  You may be alone or with other people.  People come and go as they wish.  There are also the “event saunas” which are communal, ritualistic and organized by the spa.  They include a master of ceremony whom I usually think of as the “Maestro” with special oils or syrups that are added to enhance the “sauna experience” – eucalyptus, Johannes berry, citrus, etc. - the possibilities are endless.  The sauna used for these “events” are large and have three tiers on each side – the top is the hottest and the bottom is the coolest – although cool in a sauna is a very relative term.  Once the appointed time for the “event” has arrived, the “maestro” arrives, he or she has a bucket of ice and bottles containing whatever additives will be used.  The inner doors are closed.  If the temperature is too high, then the “Maestro” will open the outer doors where there is an artificial waterfall in this sauna and use a large towel to wave in cool air until the temperature is just right before starting the ritual – believe me it is a ritual.  The “Maestro” has a towel wrapped around the waist that is secured with a catch.  The “Maestro” is the only person in the sauna that is “dressed”.  The “Maestro” then takes a dipper, dips ice from a bucket, adds the “scent” to the ice and pours the scented ice over the hot rocks that are in a raised hearth in the center of the sauna.  This is repeated two or three times.  The odor of the scent fills the sauna and the hot steam dramatically increases the temperature in the sauna.  Copious amounts of sweat rolls down the body and you begin to wonder why the hell you’re there – the emphasis on the word “hell”.  The “Maestro” then whips the towel around his head to help circulate the scented steam throughout the room – like a stripper at a bad burlesque show – only it’s the audience who have already “taken it all off.” The “Maestro” then moves to one side of the room and whips the towel over his head, his arms wide and the top of the towel brushes the ceiling and more hot, scented steam is force onto the top tiers of the benches and everyone there is then in Dante’s 9^th ring of hell.  The “Maestro” then whips the towel lower, fanning the hot scented, steam to the lower tiers.  The “Maestro” works his way down the tiers – an equal opportunity sadist.  This whole process is then completed again before he moves to the other side of the sauna where the same ritual is completed again.  Then scented ice over the hot rocks, towel ritual again.  Once the second ritual has been completed, everyone goes to the anti-room room where we rub our bodies with ice and stand under incredibly cold showers.  There is one semi-circular of showers (3) where the water gets progressively colder as you walker through this chamber of icy hell. When I say that the water gets progressively colder, I mean that it goes from unbelievable cold to freaking unbelievable cold.   Then back into the sauna, scented ice on hot rocks, ritual, applause for the “Maestro”, backed into the anti-room – ice and icy, cold showers – and you’re done.  The experience is communal, pagan, ritualistic and tribal all in one.  It’s a communal rite of passage – birth, death and rebirth.  I have to admit that I enjoy the communal sauna experience.  We, as human being, are social animals who function best as part a community who share common beliefs and rituals.  In that moment in time and space, a small tribal unit is formed – united by common experience, suffering and ritual. 

I went to both the coed sauna event and the “male only” sauna event – it was “men’s day” at the sauna.  When we checked in at the front desk, the receptionist gave Doris a “wink, wink” when she told her that there special “events” for men on “men’s day”.  I missed the “wink, wink” but Doris told me about it later – she found it amusing.  I prefer the coed sauna.  The all men’s sauna has just too much testosterone – a bit too much locker room mentality.  It’s a bit rowdier, competitive and “good old boy”.   The only “special event” for the men was a shot of schnapps during the first break – again testosterone level shoots up.  The coed sauna is more mellow and harmonious - better for the soul. 

Doris took advantage of the pool for a few laps between sauna sessions – Doris and water.  The pool is really great – Olympic size with thermal mineral water fed into it from the hot springs here in Gastein valley.   I prefer to lie in the sun to maximize the totally pagan experience of the sauna.  I will probably try out the Hammam when I am in Morocco – this is the public bath.  It is probably derived from the Roman public baths but is gender segregated – one more new experience to try.

The sauna was a completely decadent, relaxing experience – hurrah for vacation!

Doris read my log this morning before I published it.  She informed me that the “Maestro” is currently called the “Saunameister”  in Austria but traditionally he or she was called the “Bademeister” – they are still called “Bademeister” in Germany.  Bademeister is actually a trained profession. The Bademeister needed to know something of health so he or she could recognize if someone was having a heart attack or some other adverse react to the heat; how to regulate the temperature – too hot or too cool (no cold in the sauna); the proper sauna “ritual”; and how to control the flow of persons in and out of the sauna if there are space limitations.  The Badmeister is the Zen Meister of the sauna.